First Time Naked, Onstage*

In other news…

I wrote this story (pictured) when I was 25 or 26 after going to a fancy spa in Amsterdam and trying really, really hard to fit in with a bunch of confident, well-toned, well-coiffed Europeans all around me.

Thanks to the fine folks over at austinstorytelling.com, I’ve finally got a chance to do something with it (for some reason The New Yorker and The Paris Review passed on it way back when; wha-??).

Austin Storytelling is having what I think is their inaugural live show on Friday, November 13th, and the theme is First Times so whammo, this one comes out of the filing cabinet.  I just gotta start saying it out loud and seeing how ridiculous it seems.  I can’t quite believe I actually walked around those marble floors with nothing on.  Did it really happen?

*I’m not actually going to be naked onstage, that would be ABSURD!!!**

** unless the price was right***

*** and by right, I’m talking like five-million dollars****

****and even then…

(more on this when I have the details)